only you
Friday, February 11



Been so long since i last blogged. So many things happened. And here i am, giving a summary. LOL .__________________.
Yes, you're not returning to me anymore..you dont know how much that hurts. From minimum feelings and zero trust, you made me went back to 100% LOVE and COMPLETE trust. And when i finally decide to be with you, to love you, cherish you, take good care of you, you tell me you dont love me anymore.
6 months of feelings with 2 months of you waiting, telling me how much you love me every single day when you waited, it made me so touched that i brought myself back to you, though you hurt me a billion times. You told me you'd changed and wont return back to your old ways, you wont hurt me, and you said that if i ever give you a chance to love me properly, you'll cherish me properly,and sacrifice more time for me.
Now..this is what you give me? Is this love? ITS NOT..i cannot stand this, you know?! You know how much it hurts?! I wont blame you but..stand in my shoes please..for you, i fell out with my friends..i dont feel the soul in my anymore. Its purely an empty shell. From now on, i'll bottle everything in me..the feeling of being kicked when you're down..when nothing you do is right,when nothing you do is right, when you gotta wear a mask and not taking it down, having 'bruises' in you all the time..that's my life..
Dont bother saying sorry, it doesnt make a difference.. i dont feel anything anymore. This is me..BELLA TAN.

Friday, February 11, 2011



Thursday, January 27



No matter what, I'm willing to wait. Please don't dash my hopes..I'll wait for you. I don't believe that you're really so heartless. No matter how you treat me, how much you hurt me, you'll always be the one that's living in my hear..the one that Bella tan si Qi loves. I love you forever..I just wish that you're willing to give me 1 more chance..to love you, care for you, be there for you when you need me, be the first to rush out when you need me, be the first to text you good morning and the last to say good night to you, be the one who listen to all your problems, the one whom you vent your anger on, the one that feels that you're the best in the wholewide world, the one that will love you and never hurt you anymore.
I hope you'll read this and just give me one more chance. I just want a chance to love you..

Thursday, January 27, 2011



Sunday, January 16



having mrs lai's lesson now -.- zzzzzz -.- I'm totally falling asleep *yawns* gosh...she'd been going on and on and on since 9.50 -.- ermmmmmmmm,this is random but...............I LOVE DEBBIE SOON,JOVONNE CHUA,ZHOU LI JING and CHERYL TAN <3 ><
Hmmmmmm,ALL THE BEST to all volleyball Bgirls for their South zone today!!!! Jiayous!!!!!! Queensway ace!!!!! :D

Sunday, January 16, 2011



Monday, January 10



bella tan is dead.
these days had been totally horrible and awful.he had left me..after all those promises that he'd made to me.after all that he'd said..after he'd said that he'll love me forever..101111-9:24pm..

my heart thudded a broken metre.i cant help it but smile whenver i re-read the messages he used to send me.there's no remedy for love but to love more.where are all those secure hugs? all those wishful thoughts are all gone..
where is the you whom i know? th one who would never hurt me..the one who would only love me,care for me,sayang me..never bully me,never scold me,never be fierce to me..the one who'd lend me his shoulder whenever i'm tired,for me lean on and sleep..the one who's the first to text me good morning and give me morning call.the one who says goodnight to me..the one who come and find me early in the morning and snore like a big fat pig when he sleep..
baby,where are you? where've you been?
the guy who is a subsitute of you now is too fake! i know you'd never bully me
like the way he does..i know you'll never hurt me..i know you love me..this guy is so much like you.even his looks is exactly the same..baby,faster come back..i'll be waiting for you..i dont like this current one who ignores my message and say hurting words!

i hate to admit this but yes,i feel so numbed and part of me died.i feel so damn fake to this world like a deadly creature..i coulnt do anything but keep myslef busy,keep my mind filled so that it would lessen the times he cross it.

Monday, January 10, 2011